A Strange Thing, Time
by Stokely
Summary: ObiWon Kenobi has a love affair of his own throughout the Star Wars prequel.
1. Summary Disclaimer

A Strange Thing, Time

Author: Stokes

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, yadda yadda yadda, George Lucas, blah blah, Ewan McGregor, blah blah blah, I am borrowing Star Wars for the moment to write this. Please enjoy – thanks for reading.

Summary: Obi-Won has his own love affair through out the prequel movies (Episodes I, II, and III) with another Jedi. Through small memories of her, many of them jumbled in time, he remembers the one who was stolen from him by someone he trusted.


	2. Remembering

The warm sands of Tatooine shifted soundlessly, the blue moons hanging low overhead. Earlier the same day, the winds howled as the largest sand storm in nearly thirty years had blown the outskirts of the settlement mercilessly. For Obi-Wan it was more than just an atmosphereic anomally. It was memory frozen. Thirty years earlier he'd been here. Thirty years earlier a sand storm had forced his master into the home of "The Chosen One". The boy who would balance the force. And for this, Obi-Wan hated sand storms.

He knew now why Anakin had strayed so helplessly to the Dark Side. His magnified emotions, uncontrolled, unchecked, had led him to be manipulated. He was now beyond aid. To think that all this could have been avoided, all of it prevented, had Anakin not met Padme. Their intentions were pure, and yet the result had served to plunge the entire galaxy into darkness. And though Obi-Wan had discerned that it was emotion and love that had brought the Jedi to their knees, he found himself longing for a woman. Someone he knew that he had strong feelings for.

His mind slid back through time as the dunes in the distance moved and changed, and he saw her in the distance like a mirage. He saw everything play out like an old holograph, the events unchangeable. He longed to change them. Instead, he watched.

"Master, can we practice just a little longer?" Anakin asked as he levitated the book for a few seconds before it suddenly dropped back down onto the table. Obi-Wan sighed.

"No my padawan, I think that that is enough for today." He said as he rubbed his temples. He had to meet with the council in an hour and he felt that though Anakin was eager, his accuracy was waning. "Are there no other padawans you wish to see?"

"Can I continue practicing in my room?" he asked as Obi-Wan escorted him from the practice room.

"If you wish to do so." Obi-Wan replied, a small smile breaking over his face despite his weary mood. Anakin smiled at this but continued to follow his master. "Is there something else, Anakin?" he asked, knowing perfectly well the answer.

"Master, have you … have you seen Padme – I mean, Queen Amidala," Anakin quickly corrected at the sharp look Obi-Wan delivered, "lately? I remember you said that you would see her at a Jedi Elders meeting…" the ten year old trailed off, a pink tinge creeping up his neck.

"I merely spoke with her on politics." Obi-Wan said clearly, his pace quickening slightly.

"Oh." Anakin said in a slightly deflated tone. A few moments passed in silence when Obi-Wan sighed softly and came to a halt. Anakin had been practically jogging to keep up and skidded to a halt slightly in front of his Master.

"Anakin, you are a young boy. And you perhaps care for the Queen in a deeper sense than any Jedi is allowed to feel for another." Anakin looked down at his boot at his Master's accurate conclusion. "I do understand Anakin. However the council may not." At this Obi-Wan stooped slightly. "You must understand that when our feelings hold such sway over us, we may be taken advantage of. Made defenceless. Even corrupted." He took Anakin's shoulder. "You must learn to detach yourself if you wish to be a Jedi Knight."

"I will Master." Anakin said in what he must have thought was a stern voice. "Nothing will keep from becoming a Jedi." Obi-Wan nodded.

"You will be, then." They walked on in a companionable silence. When finally they came to Anakin's quarters, he hesitated. Obi-Wan smiled again before chuckling. "Something else?" Anakin turned and squinted up at his Master. Obi-Wan saw something reflecting in his eyes.

"You said you understand." Anakin said slowly. "How is that possible?" His Master stared down at him for what seemed like an eternity to each of them, as Obi-Wan scrutinized his apprentice, not sure whether to divulge the truth or lie to the prodigy child.

"Many moons ago, I too was a boy." He said, deciding to inject humour into his story. Anakin smirked at this. "And I too was quite taken with a young lady."

"Really?" Anakin asked, his eyes widening a little.

"Really." Obi-Wan chuckled. "Mind you, it was quite some time ago when last I saw her." For a moment, Anakin watched his master, and for the first time realized the humanity within him. It was disconcerting.

"Who was she?" Anakin pressed on.

"I think that that shall remain unknown for now." Obi-Wan said as three tiny padawans passed by, watching them openly. "I am late for a council meeting, and you are wasting time you could be practicing." Anakin accepted this, but Obi-Wan knew the question would return. "Goodnight, Anakin."

"Goodnight Master." He said before obediently entering his room. As soon as Obi-Wan was certain that he could feel Anakin using the force, he let out a breath. He'd not thought about her in years, and yet now that he'd been reminded of her so bluntly he was bombarded with images of her. The thing he remembered so vividly about her was her long waved blonde hair. He'd gone through a romantic spell in his youth; he'd thought of her hair as sunshine, spun into golden tresses reserved for only the purest of beings. Her hair had smelled most strangely of the fruit only found on a distant garden planet which also made him treasure every scent he'd inhaled when she fought him, leaned in near him, hugged him…

He suddenly felt like a hypocrite. He wiped her from his memory and walked quickly out of the padawan unit toward the main entrance of the Jedi Temple then to the council, where he spent the rest of the day trying hopelessly to erase Malena Seawicce from his mind.


	3. Being Careful

The last time he saw her was the night before he and Qui-Gon had embarked on a particularly dangerous mission. It had been three moon cycles before the Trade Federation were to make their assault on Naboo. No threat had even been thought to exist by the Jedi. When he'd first been told he and Qui Gon were to be "negotiating" the impending threat, he'd worried. She'd gone to Naboo with her own Master.

"Promise me you'll be careful." He'd told her the night before he was to leave.

"Kenobi, are you worrying about me?" She'd asked teasingly, turning from her vanity. "You should stop it if you don't wish to go grey by nineteen."

"Very funny." He said sitting down on her bed, watching her as she made a crude face at him in her mirror. "This is your first important mission. And you're too …"

"Spontaneous?"

"Impulsive and artless." He said smirking at her. She turned and threw her hair brush at him. It froze more than six inches from his face and waved at her.

"Show off." She said rolling her eyes. "Of course I'll be careful." She paused for a moment and looked at him seriously. "And you will be vigilant too, right? I don't want them sending you home in pieces." He laughed.

"I don't need to be vigilant. I've done this often enough." He said confidently.

"You really are the most pig headed, cocky-"

"Charming, lovable-"

"- smug, patronizing-"

"- handsome, talented, brilliant-"

"You are infuriating, do you know that?" She interrupted, although the smile on her face was proving difficult to suppress. He grinned back, his blue eyes alight with mischief.

"It's only because you like me. I don't blame you, mind." He hesitated when he saw her face drop. She turned back to her mirror, looking quite stern. "Malena?"

"You shouldn't joke about those kind of things." She said in a smooth voice. "You know that we can't…"

"I was only joking." He said almost defensively. "You shouldn't take me so seriously." She did not answer, but continued to sort through a box on the vanity. He paused a moment, staring at her as she tied her hair up into a ponytail. She could feel it. But she'd die before letting him know she knew.

He got up and walked behind her, staring down at the crown of her head. He was suddenly tempted to reach out and smooth back a fallen lock of hair. He reached out his hand, his fingers barely an inch from her head. Then he saw her eyes fall closed. And he realized the full weight of what he was doing. He pulled his hand away quickly as if burned by some invisible flame.

That was as close as he'd let himself near her in the last five years.


	4. Reunited

"I did not know that you would be at the Jedi council tonight." The sun had stained the clouds blood red, the orange outline of the horizon blinding. The white granite of the balcony glittered in the setting sun and cast an eerie white glow in the water below. She turned and smiled, showing all her pearly white teeth, and he wondered for a moment when that smile had found a way to become even more striking.

"I did not know myself." She said turning back to look at the skies of Naboo. "I was here, on assignment. Master Windu contacted me, requested my presence. I must admit I was intrigued when I was informed that you were here with your apprentice." He could see the words "The Chosen One" floating through her head. There was an easy silence as they cast side ways glances, appraising each other secretly.

"You've changed." He finally said. She smiled and pulled her long blonde hair over the shoulder of her blue Jedi robes and watched him.

"So have you." She studied him a moment. "Your face isn't bald anymore." He laughed heartily at this. He stroked his beard.

"No, I suppose it has been a while since boyhood." He said thoughtfully.

"Not so long." She said smiling. "I can still see little Obi-Won inside you, Kenobi."

"Why did you always call me by Kenobi? You were the only one." He said watching her face, trying to utilize his natural empathic abilities. "It always felt so formal." She shrugged, couldn't look at him.

"I suppose that was the allure." She said wistfully. "If I couldn't keep you at arm's length…" She shook her head then looked at him. "It was a way to distance you in my head." He frowned slightly, not even noticing that she'd stepped slightly toward him.

"Why would you want to …?" He asked, not realizing they were now facing each other, less than a foot away. She laughed softly, his liquid blue eyes meeting her piercing green ones.

"Think Kenobi. If you stop and think… you'll see it." She said it all in a whisper, as if it were so fragile it would break if said any louder. She raised a hand to his cheek, the new feeling of her fingers on his whiskers making her breath come out slightly shallow.

He opened his mouth, but the only thing, the only explanation – it was too scandalous to speak aloud. He searched her eyes for any sign she was perhaps being misread.

Malena inched forward, and all he could see were her large green eyes, dark tufts of black lashes framing them. Her pale cheeks, the apples lined with a faint blush, her nose sprinkled with small freckles. She was perfect. He was dumbstruck by her perfection. His large, rough tanned hand caressed her soft cheek, and he watched the long lashes fall against those cheeks, her lips beckoning him forward. He leaned forward, not closing his eyes, afraid he might miss some small detail of her face.

It was the longest three seconds of his lifetime.


	5. Dreams

"Such a shame." Obi-Won turned and looked on as two aristocratic young boys watched the fourteen year old Malena stride past them. "Is the Jedi Code really that strict? Why waste a beauty like that?"

That night was the first time Obi-Won had ever dreamed of her. Their comment of her beauty being wasted had stuck in his head. Before then he hadn't thought of her as beautiful. She'd been just another padawan, learning how to wield the force just the same as he was. She was his friend, and they treated each other almost as brother and sister – when boys teased her, he defended her; when his family enquired after him and he was made to endure another encounter with his father, she would hold his hand afterward.

That night he dreamt of what it would be like to touch her intimately, and be the only one who had done so. To be her first and only lover. Such thoughts were blasphemous for a Jedi Knight, he knew. But better to imagine than to be caught off guard and act upon his feelings. It began innocent enough, his hand would linger on her shoulder, he would stroke her hand with his thumb as he held it in his palm. But then it wasn't enough. He would be hugging her and suddenly her arms would tighten around him and she would press herself against him, breathe on his collar, play with his foot with her own.

He'd woken up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, with the unfamiliar feel of an erection under his wool sheets. He was mortified and looked around wildly, half expecting his roommates to be staring at him as if he were obscene. It had been painful and he did not wish to relive it.

However, he would experience the same dream and the same result almost every night for the next two years.


End file.
